Wednesday, June 1, 2011

PMS? Or Pee Am A**?

How to Know If you have PMS:

The 10 Definitive Signs of PMS are:
  1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
  2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
  3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
  4. Everyone is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
  5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, 'How's my driving? Call 1 800 ****"**.'
  6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
  7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
  8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
  9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
  10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

What PMS REALLY stands for:

  1. Psychotic Mood Shift
  2. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
  3. Perpetual Munching Spree
  4. People Make Me Sick
  5. Provide Me with Sweets
  6. Pardon My Sobbing
  7. Pimples May Surface
  8. Pissy Mood Syndrome
  9. Plainly Men Suck
  10. Who Cares? I'm not in the mood to play this anymore!

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