47-year search for dad ends in heartbreak

In 2018, the movie Pulang by Primeworks Studios about the true story of a Malay sailor who left his family and lived the rest of his family in Liverpool, UK was released. It caught the attention of Salmi, who then wrote to me asking for help. Her husband's father, like the hero of the movie, left his family in Malaysia and went to the UK back in the 70s and was never heard of again. 

Salmi's father-in-law is Lance Corporal Mohd Said Mohd Amin, who like most soldiers after being discharged from military service, decided to migrate to the United Kingdom. In 1972, the 33-year-old father of four, with one more on the way, left his heavily pregnant wife, Ramlah, then 26, with their three children, in Serkam, Melaka, with plans to bring them over to the UK once he had sorted out their accommodation and schooling. Salmi's husband, Hariss, then nine, was the eldest and was tasked with writing to his father in London once or twice a month.

Soon enough, the day the family was waiting for finally arrived. Said wrote to say he would be returning to Malaysia to get his family. However, the initial euphoria of being reunited slowly turned into disappointment as the familiar airmail, which was sometimes accompanied by money, stopped coming.The father whom they remembered as a soft-spoken man who would never raise his voice suddenly disappeared from their lives with not so much as a clue to point to his whereabouts.

Life for the young family changed drastically after that, with Ramlah having to sell nasi lemak in their village to support the family. The children were separated as family members rallied to take care of each child in their respective homes. They, too, had to work while still in school to help support the family.

“In the 1990s, we wrote to the British High Commission here, which confirmed that our letter to our father was delivered but they could not reveal his address as it was confidential. It was heartbreaking to hear that he had received the letter but there was no reply. I wouldn’t say I was doing it for myself, It was for my mother, who never stopped waiting. I guess she wanted an answer.” Hariss admitted.

The search for Said even took the siblings to the studios of TV3’s programme Jejak Kasih. However, people began ringing them to say their father was still alive and living in Kuala Lumpur or was last sighted in Chow Kit — the family was led on a wild goose chase with payment demanded in return. Friends travelling and working in the UK were also roped in to help in the search but to no avail.

This started off a chain of positive developments from London to Liverpool to Aberdeen and later, to an oil rig in Scotland. I asked friends who had served in the British Army before but that led to nothing. I gave Salmi the number for a contact in Liverpool, Jantan Lisot, who is a member of the Malay seafarers’ community there. It was through his efforts that Said was finally located. Jantan said he engaged the services of an agency to track down Said.

“The agency said they found him in Wales but would not give me the address until I made further payments. I was then given an email address to write to him through this agency,” said Jantan when I met him in Liverpool recently. The email via the agency was sent on May 23 to Said, who was in Moray, Portgordon, a small village in Scotland, almost 100km away from Aberdeen. The initial information about Wales was to mislead us so that we did not contact him personally.

However, any hope of a happy ending was soon shattered. Jantan received word that Said had died, a mere three days after receiving the email seeking to re-connect with him. Said apparently sustained a fall and died alone in his house. He was 79. Financial constraints meant that none of the family members could travel to Portgordon. But the close network of Malaysians abroad rallied to help salvage the situation in what appeared to be dire circumstances.

Arrangements were made to collect funds for the burial, which was £4,000 (approximately RM 20,500) and for the body to be taken to the Elgin Muslim cemetery. Among the Muslim community at the Elgin mosque was a Scotsman — the only person who knew Said, the man, known to neighbours in Moray and his friends at the Baxter Food factory, where he worked until five years ago, as Eddie.

Only wishing to be known as a close neighbour who missed Eddie greatly, he said Said had always lived alone. “Eddie” never spoke about his background. People only knew him to be from the army and that he used to work in London and then Liverpool. He was the best neighbour anyone could wish for, he said, with his sentiments echoed by friends, former colleagues and neighbours in his Facebook status. Lance Corporal Mohd Said Mohd Amin is buried at the Elgin Muslim cemetery in Scotland.

“I was the only non-Muslim person at the mosque and I spoke on behalf of the local community to thank the Muslim community for coming together to give Eddie a proper funeral. I also spoke briefly about how good a person and neighbour he was. He will be missed,” said the neighbour, who was also asked to identify the body at the mortuary.

The revelation by the neighbour about Said would perhaps go some way towards providing an insight into the man Hariss and his siblings had been searching for, the man who was their father. Hariss and his siblings are ready to accept it as fate that they were never to meet again. As for the whys that have plagued their minds for the past 47 years, they are resigned to the fact that perhaps something had happened to him to make him stay away.

The story of Said may not end here — diaries and journals he had written were among the possessions he left behind. These could perhaps reveal the answers the children are searching for. And for that, they will have to make the journey to Moray. One day.

Adapted from: Postcard from Zaharah: 47-year search for dad ends in heartbreak by Zaharah Othman for the New Straits Times